This is probably one of the most personal post's I've ever written so bare with me if it feels like I'm straying too far from the familiar 'fun-filled fashion' formula of I Heart Fashion. I read alot of blogs and the ones that resonate with me the most are the ones which I can personally relate to. That's why I chose to write this post.
Last year my pop's was diagnosed with cancer but thankfully god must have been looking down on us because after a long six months of a major operation and chemotherapy he's made a full recovery and is back fighting fit. I suppose I can only write about it now because I'm no longer scared about it coming back and the reason I'm telling you such a personal thing is because last year made me realise how short life really is.
I know it's a cliche to say but it takes the possibility of losing someone so close to make you open your eyes and start living. I'm 27, turning 28 in October to be exact and I'm at a point in my life where I want to achieve a lot of things but up until now I've been the sort of girl that lives for tomorrow, not today.
I'm all for the planning stages but when it comes to actually carrying out these plans, I always find a reason as to why I'll 'do it later'. Well, I kind of made a promise to myself a couple of minutes after midnight on the 1st January that this year would be different. Putting these plans down in writing is designed to give myself a firm kick up the arse so here it is...10 Things I Will To Do Before I Turn 30.
1. Travel Alone
I'm an independent girl. I live by myself and manage to pay my bills on time every month. I can find places on a map, be it Google Maps but still. I take charge of organising holidays. I'm always the first one to suggest going away somewhere exotic. But I've never travelled alone. Before I turn 30 I want to go to New York, on a single mission. It's not because I don't want to share the experience but because I want to be completely out of my comfort zone. I suppose it could be a little 'Carrie Bradshaw' lifestyle yearning - bright lights, big city and all that crap but that's what I want to do. So I'm going to do it.
2. Say it with conviction
I think this is something most people go through in their 20's and I'm hoping that as I get older and becoming more sure of myself as a person this sort of thing will come naturally. Before I'm 30 I want to be confident in myself and what I'm saying. I sometimes find moments at work where I feel like a fraud - like I've fluked getting the job and one of these days I'll be found out. I want to have more confidence to say my ideas in a room full of people and not be met with a wall of awkward silence. I also want to have the confidence to go up to a guy I fancy on my train and say hello - right now I could never do that, I find it a struggle to look him in the eye so more often than not I inappropriately stare downwards in the direction of his crotch area. Which leads me on to my next point.
3. Truly, Madly, Deeply
Up until recently I was in an on-off relationship with someone that I met at university 6 years ago. It wasn't right and it's only now I can see that it wasn't - that good old saying 'love is blind' is more than appropriate in this instance. We tried the friend thing but kept straying back into GF/BF territory which isn't helpful to anyone - especially as he lives in London and right now I'm firmly set in Leeds. So now I find myself single, happily single, but thinking by the time I turn 30 it would be lovely to meet a nice young man. I have a very particular type and I'm thinking it might be time to divert away from that to see what's outside the standard 'tall, rugby playing hunk'. I've been in love but I don't think I've ever been in movie star love, the kind of love that overtakes you like Carrie and Mr Big. That's something I need to work on.
4. A place worthy of ELLE Home Decor
If I wasn't a writer then I'd definitely consider taking some kind of interior design course. When I moved into my first place last year I spent three months beforehand buying all the things I wanted, from huge printed cushions to a sequin lampshade - don't laugh it actually looks pretty fabulous! But the trouble is I rent and decorating isn't really worth it, especially as I move out in three weeks time but that's a whole other story. I want to have a house that I can put my stamp on and decorate in such a way I have ELLE Home Decor knocking on my door, begging me to allow them and photograph my work. I want to entertain, have dinner parties, summer bbq's, god dam it I want to be the host with the most, is that too much to ask?